Pumping on a Plane – stressful or restful?

Have you ever pumped on an airplane. Ya know…with a breast pump…not lifting weights, like pumping iron…no, no…breast milk pumping…let me tell ya about a time that I did…

Dear United,

I’d like to share a wonderful story with you about one of your employees.

On Monday, 2/3/2020, I was on a flight from Chicago to Phoenix.

This was my first work trip away from baby #4 who is 6 months old. I’m trying to maintain nursing and pumping all while traveling as an employee of corporate America. You may or may not be able to imagine how clunky that can be. Packing a breast pump and all the accessories and ice packs along with my laptop bag, cell phone, earbuds, wallet, snacks, sanitary wipes, lip balm, a book about how to be a better parent (the irony of that is not lost on me) etc.

It gets cumbersome

Getting on your flight is only half the battle. Prior to boarding you are planning for how and where you will pump. See. If you don’t pump at decent 3-5 hour intervals…well life gets painful. Your boobs get painful. It’s cool but crazy and anxiety inducing. Plus. You miss your baby. Insert sobs.

Ok. Anyway.

Monday.

I successfully found the mother’s room at O’Hare and pumped preflight. It was fine. Not great. But fine. I had to turn off my germaphobia and pray all the moms before me definitely cleaned up after themselves and if they changed their baby’s diaper on the changing table / counter then they definitely were careful and of course the airport cleaning service sanitized this place. Ah. Ok.

I then found my gate and grabbed some lunch. It came to be boarding time and now I’m in my seat. It has now been 2 hours since I pumped. The flight is just under 4 hours.

Eek. A bit of a conundrum but I think I can make it 6 hours in between pumping sessions.

But wait.

I’m on this flight with two coworkers. We are going to land, grab our bags and then hop in a car to get to our meeting hotel which is 20 minutes from the airport. Yikes. Now I’m talking at least 7 if not 8 hours between sessions.

I can already feel the milk getting clogged in my ducts and the hard masses that will form in my boobs which can also lead to an infection called mastitis. It’s terrible. Treatable with antibiotics, a heating pad and cabbage leaves but still awful. Panic sets in.

Ok. Breathe. It’s going to be ok. I’ll just go pump in the lavatory.

Wait. I can’t stay in there for the full 30 minutes that it takes to pump. What will people think?!?

I’ll tell ya what they’ll think. They’ll think I’m pooping on the plane!! Gah!! How embarrassing. Rule #1 in travel…you don’t poop on the plane!

Ok.

Well.

I do have a pretty amazing breast pump and it fits in my bra and allows me to then put my shirt down over it.

Ok.

I’ll go to the lavatory and put the pumps in and then I’ll go sit down in my seat. The 27 year old dude next to me will never be the wiser! Once I’m done I can go back to the lavatory and empty my pumps and put myself back together. I brought a scarf plus my cardigan is flowy so I’ll be able to cover up these huge Austin Powers robot girlfriend machine gun looking boobs with no problem. Ok great. Ready set go.

Wait!!

What if there’s turbulence and they turn on the seatbelt sign and I can’t get back up and then I’m stuck. I’m stuck with these boob rockets in my bra and I can’t get them out.

Ok.

Well.

I’ll tell the flight attendant. Maybe she’ll tell me to just stay in the lavatory. Ok. It’ll be fine.

I slowly get up from my seat.

I obtain my pump bag from the overhead bin.

I walk to the back.

I proceed to over share with said flight attendant about how I have 4 kids and this is my first time away from them well not from them but from the baby and he’s 6 months old and I’ve flown before…I’m not crazy…and I totally know what I’m doing and I’m just….I’m nervous and I need her to tell me what is the right thing to do.

And I thought I should tell her so she didn’t wonder why I went into the lavatory as a C cup but came out a G cup! Plus the blue lights glowing from my bra through my shirt…nope nothing to see here…of course I don’t have a hidden battery operated device under my shirt like some crazy person! No. No. It’s nothing.

Gah!

It’s a lot.

Now. The flight attendant.

She. Was. Lovely.

Her name was Francis.

She replied

“Wow. That’s a lot.”

To her credit. She meant it…With empathy.

Me. Kinda embarrassed. Did I just word vomit like a lunatic? Possibly.

Ok. She agrees. I should go in and suit up and then take a seat back in my seat and then return when the mission is complete.

Great.

We have a plan.

In I go.

Wow. This place is tiny.

I balance my bag. Open my shirt.

Connect my pumps.

Turn them on.

Take a deep breathe.

Put my shirt back down.

Put my scarf on.

Check my pump app on my phone to make sure it’s connected.

Exit the lavatory.

There is now a line down the aisle that is 8 deep. All waiting for the lavatory.

Now for context. There are two lavatories at the back of the plane. The one right off the aisle and then this one in the rear of the plane as part of the flight attendant galley.

My flight attendant friend is there.

She sees the flash of terror in my eyes as I imagine trying to squeeze past these people without bumping into them with my mechanical boobs.

I step to the side of the galley. Next person goes into the lavatory.

I am now standing with the rear exit door to my back. Ridiculous fear of me falling out of the plane now enters my brain.

Stop it brain.

My flight attendant friend is across the galley.

She understands my predicament.

I stay in my little corner.

The line of people continue to flow in and out of the lavatory.

My friend and I share stories. She’s so kind. She’s been a flight attendant for 23 years! She looks 35 so I’m not sure how this is possible.

Ah.

It’s time for cleanup service.

She heads down the aisle.

My pump session ends.

I enter the lavatory.

I carefully empty my pumps.

I reassemble myself.

I return to my seat.

I feel so much lighter.

Physically and mentally.

Phew.

Got that done.

This is a lot. This is stressful.

She helped me so much and I wanted you to know.

She’s a keeper!

Thank you to Francis! You need more of her.

Thank you!

signed,

an exhausted but grateful mama

Overall, wow, what an experience…I have pumped on a plane multiple times since then, but it always comes with a teeny bit of stress. The last time I pumped on a plane, I was lucky enough to be flying to Amsterdam and had a seat in Business Class…wow…that made things a whole lot easier. I was able to slip into the lavatory, put my pumps in, return to my seat and complete the whole process without anyone even noticing. Yay!

Again…it’s partly because of this crazy cool pump – find it here.

I also have to give a shout out and follow request for this amazing artist Chelsea Larsson. You can find her on Instagram here. Go follow her…she is fabulous!

love ya,

mamaextra

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